🎶 Baby don't worry 🎵

So I’ve mentioned previously that music was a big part of our relationship and for our future JJ hopes. And this is how essentially that broke down. We both LOVED music, listening to it, dancing to it, singing along (not good...actually poor dancing or singing from my direction), going to concerts (she kept a whole journal just for this kind of stuff), festivals, open mic nights and playing.
Let me share what I mean in detail. Sharry played and sang beautifully and very few people ever had the privilege because she was so nervous of criticism and embarrassing herself. In a lot of ways the classic neurotic artist. We would play together every once in awhile which meant she sang and played some of our favorite songs while I poorly plucked along on my banjo and croaked out some lyrics. Yes I had a banjo which brings me WAY back.
When I was “courting” her trying to get her to agree to marry me she was hesitant for many reasons. Primarily among her concerns was the fact that she was so young and that she always saw herself marrying someone she could be in a folk duo with and unmusical me did not seem to be that person. So we got a banjo and I made a valiant effort for a few months and even proposed at the north rim of the Grand Canyon by playing (poorly) a song I wrote on the banjo. Another fun awesome fact about Sharry, she did NOT want an engagement ring but rather a new Yari Alvarez acoustic/electric guitar. She’s so cool and unique! Anyhow once we were married the folk duo never happened because my obvious motivation kind of slipped and Shar’s confidence never grew. Sometimes I seriously wonder (now and also pre JJ) if she would have married a more talented guy if she would’ve had a more happy and fulfilled life. )o:

Picture from the Grand Canyon the day I proposed with my banjo summer of 2006

She recorded a handful of songs though over the 12 years we were together. We always had very poor equipment that brought plenty of frustration to both of us but I think she worked magic with what we had. We even made some silly and sweet music videos to go with some of the songs. Amazingly she posted those to youtube less than 2 weeks before JJ which she was always very nervous to do. I am so so grateful she did! I probably would not have shared those with the world otherwise and her amazing voice and playing would not be heard. My favorite song is actually one she wrote (most were covers) and it is almost prophetic in its words to me, nine years after she wrote it! Below is the music video and I did my best to jot down her lyrics although there are a few parts where I wasn’t sure so they’re in parenthesis. Powerful, comforting, confusing and heartbreaking stuff that I have been listening to at least once daily since JJ’s birthday.

Baby don’t you worry about a thing

It aint no use

So baby don’t you worry about a thing

Let everything loose

Cuz I’ve tried and tried

To let go of this noose

So stop trying to (worry about a thing)

Baby don’t you worry about me

I’ll find my way

Baby don’t you worry about me

I’ve just gotta stay

I’ve been up and down

And found I’m OK

So stop worrying about me

Crying won’t help a thing

I thought you knew

Crying won’t help a thing

It will just make you blue

Because I can’t fix the past

And make our love grow (too)

So stop worrying about a thing

Baby our lights gone out

Darkness is here

Oh baby our light’s gone out

Don’t think of fear

Cuz our flame was lit

When our eyes were clear

So babe

Our lights gone out

Baby softly close that door

You’ve got to go

Softly close that door

Our loves grown old

The day has grown dim

And the night is so cold

Babe close the door

Also bonus second song, not by Sharry but by an artist we saw three different times in concert (documented in her journal haha) “You are your mother’s child” Love it!!